I am a total mess today, in my head at least. Oh sure, outwardly I look completely normal. I managed to put on a matching outfit today, shoes match my belt, good stuff like that. But in my mind? I am a freak.
I am all nerves for the run Sunday and also since I can’t go for a long run and work through some stuff that’s bugging my mind. Runs are therapy to me. I don’t need to go see a therapist to get through my problems, I just need to be able to go run. I work it all out, I calm myself down, and I feel great afterwards.
Alas, that is not something I can do until Sunday, so the next three days are going to push me to the edge. This is what they call taper madness. Welcome to my world.
I don’t remember it being this bad last time, but maybe I’m not remembering properly. Marathoners are like women who have given birth. We have selective memory and tend to block out the unpleasant parts of marathon training; quite like how I’ve heard women who’ve gone through labor and delivery some how block out the memory of the pain and have another child.
Last time I was training for a marathon I didn’t have quite so much going on in my life. I saw Alan every day, I was working only one job, and I wasn’t trying to start the ball rolling with getting a new job and relocating.
I don’t see Alan and often as I’d like. I don’t have him around to talk some sense into me and calm me as he is very good at doing. So, I’ve turned to my runs more than ever this year, and I can’t even do that for three more days!
Calgon, take me away!